Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Two big girls

My mom and I share a wonderfully weird relationship. Wonderful because it’s well my mom and weird for the people who see us in full swing. We have a very unusual way to express our love-I know exactly how clichéd it sounds-but it is so unusual coz I haven’t seen another like it. She happens to be the butt of most of my jokes, the ones who has to bear the brunt of my anger and the one who I cuddle like a li’l baby (talk of bear hugs!)

Well most of our time is spent bickering. This is why people think we’re weird-they just assume I’m an unrelenting rebellious teenager who is a royal pain the neck and whose mother has an uphill task just keeping her temper in check. But its not that way. If I don’t “fight” with momma I can’t say I’ve had a complete day. Unless her regular phone calls bug me, I feel something amiss.

That’s what happened a day ago. I was out spending my day at my buddy’s place and as our pact is, I told my ma I’ll be home by 5 or 6. At 5 o’clock that evening my head became aware that’s its time for ma to call and find out where and how far I am on my home and remind if I’ve forgotten. However buddy-buddy we all are, we do believe in deadlines and punctuality. And my mother has always had an idea where I am. She ensures she does. So at 5:15 I checked my phone, incase I had a missed call. None. I board the bus. I pull out my phone from my jeans pocket just incase she calls and I have to struggle with ‘em. I get off to change my bus. 5:30pm and still no call. Now I’m concerned.

I take the other bus and still cling to my phone and now I’m checking it every few minutes. NO CALL! I am now almost home. I start walking home. I check my watch-5:50pm. Why hasn’t ma called? It’s most unlike her? Hey wait, why am I worried? For the first time she has not bothered herself as to my where about. So I get my chain-free freedom at last? Shit! Call ma call!

5:55pm. I am at my colony entrance. I can’t hold myself anymore. Flip open the phone->phonebook->press M->dial the first entry Ma->wait for to answer. She takes her own sweet time. I am worried as hell!
“huh?”
“Ma? Where are you? You didn’t call. I am almost home. Want me to get milk on my way home?’
“Haan…nahi. I got the milk. (Yawn!) I was sleeping! I’ll open the door. You come soon.”

Sleeping?! She was sleeping blissfully unaware of the time and here was I worried why ma didn’t call so I could lecture her on me being a big girl! Jeez! She finally got it that I’m a big girl, but I didn’t. Now I guess this is weird. No wonder people fail to understand us. I still don’t.

Frankly I don’t even want to. Why waste time to rationalize love? And yes now I know never again will I shriek at ma for calling me on my way to find out how far I am. That way at least two people don’t get anxiety attacks for nothing and I save on my phone bill!

love ya ma!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Frost bite and sun burns!


Its been one full semester at the ice kingdom called Delhi college of engineering with its ice princesses and stone princes. Ironically the place is almost an inferno in summer especially walking down the concrete roads all the way to the main gate. how many time I've had a frost bite(jeez!) and a sun burn(real bad ones) I've lost count.

the place is like its inhabitants-two extremes. now calling it two extremes may be due to my inclination to classify things into slots or whatever but this place is so damned confusing! frankly u can get lost here with no luck of being retrieved ever again. the corridors, the staircases the blocks...u really need a guided tour to know where you're headed. i know, i took one from a friend. its really huge and empty!

i use empty because except for a handful of people here and there you will never really find a crowd except in the canteen. that too, the same faces. considering it has over 800 people in my batch only, i happen to see very few. or maybe i happen to register a very few.

now coming to people. if you can recall i mentioned them as ice-princesses and stone princes. that's exactly what they come across as. they can give you a frost bite! well not all of them. some can burn your fingers! on a more serious note i think there's more to it than good self-restrained people-its me. i was the outsider. i was the one who had to break the ice(i love this) with a sledge hammer. the reason I'm so bugged or pissed is that I've tried so hard with not as much success as i would have liked.

if anyone were to ask me what should u do if given an option to switch colleges, I'd say think again. its a real pain to get yourself an identity when people are just not interested to know who or where u come from. when college starts everyone is interested in everyone else. they want to know you, you want to know them and everyone gets a fair chance of being a part of your little world. cut to a semester later(or even a year, if you transfer etc) people have their own little world. you and you alone have to cut through. take a good ninety nine steps and then maybe they'll take one. I've not had it that hard, but I've had it hard. and truthfully its not good for my ego. i hate to say this but i do have a nice ego that has had enough reasons to be inflated through out school, however unglamourous i may have been, and this whole situation of being a nobody hurts.

all in all this place has been one good experience. i never knew i had so many emotions in me considering the many firsts i've had here, the most memorable(why?) being my very amusing(to the spectators ofcourse) catfight! i'll maybe divulge the details in another post but lord did i lose my temper. i've been cheated on(no no boyfriend trouble, that doesnt exist), betrayed(my little innocent soul) and embarrased(ask munchkin for details).

whatever said and done this extreme action is where i'm gonna be for another three years and trust me i'm looking for a reason to tear my own comments above apart.