What is it with people around you that think life gets suddenly, overnight complete the day you marry? What's the big deal about marriage anyway? These days, sometimes in their entirety, I contemplate what is marriage all about. Why should I do this whole ritual and what will change for me? I admit I absolutely adore weddings! I mean who doesn't? But seriously, why marriage?
I am no closer to an answer. I have asked around; those who are married, bless their marriage, and those wishing they were married, but I am still not convinced on their logic. And to further derail my inclination towards it, I have a whole bunch of people asking me about it. It's not an age related landmark like puberty! But, sigh, they believe it is. And none is the wiser about why marriage.
There are certain givens about marriages. It draws on a curtain on human promiscuity and ensures children know their parentage for sure. It provides a degree of companionship, understanding and emotional support, though I seem to see the complete opposite in most marriages. It gives another person legal and medical rights to take decisions for you. The last one I read in some relationship column in Mint. So that's it. Hmm.
One thing became clear to me tonight about marriage, arranged marriage at least. It draws on a society's desire to protect itself and isolate and promote its culture. Any civilization that has evolved enough to have overcome the basics of food, shelter and clothing and has amassed wealth starts moving towards the whole arranged marriage concept. They do not want to "dilute the bloodlines". They want to "keep to their kind". In short, they're paranoid of losing their cultural identity into someone else's and giving away their wealth to the not-so-wealthy. That's why the business class will marry their children early and within their society. That is why the royal blue blood retains the genes that are killing them now! It's cultural paranoia!
It's clearly visible why an average, considered uncultured, American would always support a love match vis a vis an old moneyed European who a family lineage as long as the Mississippi! This is why a traditional Indian family would squirm at the thought of a cross cultural match as compared to the more disconnected "modern" American spin offs in the cities!
But at the end of the day, it is paranoia. If not then tell me why.
I am no closer to an answer. I have asked around; those who are married, bless their marriage, and those wishing they were married, but I am still not convinced on their logic. And to further derail my inclination towards it, I have a whole bunch of people asking me about it. It's not an age related landmark like puberty! But, sigh, they believe it is. And none is the wiser about why marriage.
There are certain givens about marriages. It draws on a curtain on human promiscuity and ensures children know their parentage for sure. It provides a degree of companionship, understanding and emotional support, though I seem to see the complete opposite in most marriages. It gives another person legal and medical rights to take decisions for you. The last one I read in some relationship column in Mint. So that's it. Hmm.
One thing became clear to me tonight about marriage, arranged marriage at least. It draws on a society's desire to protect itself and isolate and promote its culture. Any civilization that has evolved enough to have overcome the basics of food, shelter and clothing and has amassed wealth starts moving towards the whole arranged marriage concept. They do not want to "dilute the bloodlines". They want to "keep to their kind". In short, they're paranoid of losing their cultural identity into someone else's and giving away their wealth to the not-so-wealthy. That's why the business class will marry their children early and within their society. That is why the royal blue blood retains the genes that are killing them now! It's cultural paranoia!
It's clearly visible why an average, considered uncultured, American would always support a love match vis a vis an old moneyed European who a family lineage as long as the Mississippi! This is why a traditional Indian family would squirm at the thought of a cross cultural match as compared to the more disconnected "modern" American spin offs in the cities!
But at the end of the day, it is paranoia. If not then tell me why.
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