balcony because I've always to and because tonight I can and because
it's too hot inside and I am not sleepy. The ledge is wide enough to
nicely sit on, long enough to stretch out on and low enough to tempt
me to try n jump down. The last is not quite an option, it would freak
too many people out! So m happy sitting on a cool night, rest my legs,
listen to music and besides seeing the darkness n the moonlight, m
happy while I type this out on my touch.
My life is in a funny phase these past few months. There've been
moments I want respite and moments I crave any form of activity.
There's been too little and too much of excitement. And in one moment
of unthinking stupor and folly I've gone over board n killed my
carefully built reputation. College now scares me. My interviews lined
up have fallen in my trap of complacency. I'm apparently too busy to
be actively involved in any sphere: college, bhai's wedding or even my
own life! It's frustrating what's going on and the more time I get to
think over it, the worse I make it for myself.
I was hoping to cool down my anxiety in the moonlight but looks like
it'll have to be done another day. M at a moment that I clearly want a
rewind button or an assurance. But it's just me, the hidden moon, a
distant lamp post, an empty house, long trees, loads of time for
regret and a folly.
I've been missing the carefree me, even though my regret stems from
it. This is one event of my life no1 beyond college is privy to and I
want to keep it that way. I need a hug and I need one bad. Since m not
getting it any time soon, I sit here wondering. Wondering a whole lot
why's...
Shivani Saksena
sent from my iPod
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