troubled by failings

today(it's post midnight) is the mega hyped solar eclipse of the century. there has been enough talk all over our news-deprived news channels about what it will supposedly mean for all of us. but that's not what is worrying me enough to rouse me out of bed n typing here. what triggered my brain into over-drive was my hand-made tapestry of ganesh ji in my room. the year was very nicely also embroidered into the setting n as i just noticed, it's 10 years old! man was i a creative kid :P

what i wonder aloud here is this: is god vengeful? this is something's that's been bothering me for quite a while. when we listen/read to any scripture be it the Gita or the Bible, there are obvious similiarities that arise. am not doing a comparative study here, but just wish to point out the 'good way' to lead life. there are pre-conceived notions of how life's to be led, how we are to pray and how we are to pay for our sins. and lest we forget, they are very subtely repeated over and over again. it's not that i'm sitting here challenging what is a way for life for all, including me, just wondering why God's potrayed as being too busy to be watching over us directly? why is God is so unbending that there is only a certain way to get his attention? it's not like i want some special powers from him that i'd have to prove to be worthy of it. then maybe i'd consider all this effort!

resonating in my head right now is the satyanarayan katha. i've always been fascinated by it and there was a time when i could recite it with my mother. not that it's been ages, just i grew up and life changed. till a few years back i couldn't wait for ma to call me to recite it with her n then i'd get the kasar! yum! so now that i was thinking of God being potrayed as being vengeful, it's not suprising that i'd shuffle back to it. there is a story of a man who wished for a child and promises to fast on the birth. when the couple was blessed with a bonny baby girl he promises to fast when she marries. on her marriage he forgets. a few years later, the girl learns of the fast and for some reason she is unable to complete it. that is when God decides enough is enough, He punishes the family until the fast is complete.
now analyse the story as to what are we supposed to learn. there are a few lessons i can pick up though can't decide which to pick as final. first is the moral lesson that if we make a promise, we should keep it. simple trust n trade. second lesson is that God keeps track of our actions and loses both patience and can be very vengeful! so is He really not as forgiving as He's made out to be? and frankly it's not only hindu mytholgy, every religion has it and none is lacking in such tales.

the latter observation of the Almighty's personality is rather troubling to me personally. why do we make the Omnipotent, Omnipresent and Omniscient all so human? why should the one giving us a drive have his failings?


google threw this at me when i googled vengence god:
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2005/204_Gods_Wrath_Vengeance_Is_Mine_I_Will_Repay_Says_the_Lord/

scroll down to para 2 onwards...not close to what i was trying to imply, but then a minister wouldn't tell the faithful to doubt.