Saturday, April 04, 2009

Pepper spray




all and sundry claim delhi to be unsafe for women. all and sundry keep coming up with protection(read self defense) measures so back in time that one feels exposed in a sleeve-less shirt. the best option i liked was a pepper spray, not that i've tried one, but an option i knew i'd prefer after my taekwondo. so just this afternoon when i was delegated the job to look for one for a family member, i happily walked off to the market to get it. after all i wasn't looking for ammunition!
shop1: spencer's
me: i need pepper spray.
attendant: this was ma'am.
we walk to the condiments' aisle
attendant: ma'am, your pepper. 
i stare blankly
attendant: black pepper, powdered and balls(he said balls!)
me: i need pepper SPRAY
he goes to call his senior
senior: ma'am how do u use pepper spray?
me: for self defense
senior: huh?!
gapes at me...i walk off

shop2: chemist next door
me: i need pepper spray
chemist: kiriyane ki dukan aage hai
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shop3: chemist no2
me: i need pepper spray
clerk: cosmetics ki dukan aage hai
me: it's not a cosmetic
clerk: phir hamare pass nahi hai

shop4: cosmetics shop
me: i need pepper spray
he gapes and gapes and gapes uncomprehendingly. i walk on

shop5: chemist no3
me: i need pepper spray
clerk: cosmetics hum nahi rakhte
me: it's not a cosmetic
clerk: to kiriyana wale ke pass hoga
me: it's not edible
clerk: is it medicated? or theurapetic?
me: it's to immobilise jerks and for self defense.
by now my temper is high, patience low and sarcasm at it's peak
clerk: try archies' gallery

shop6: departmental store
me: i need pepper spray
dumb girl: ma'am party spray archies ya hallmark pe hoga
me: i need pepper spray
dumb girl: ma'am woh kya hota hai?
me: it's for self defense and protection
dumb girl: ma'am chemist pe pooch leejiye

shop7: chemist no4
me: i need pepper spray
attendant(to his collegues): arre koi pepper spray kharidne aaya hai!! kahan gayi woh?
people seem happy n scurry about to look for it.
attendant(suspiciously): ma'am 400-500 rupiye ki hai, aapko lena hai?
me: nahi khelna hai. obviously lena hai!! 
attendant: ma'am 399 ka hai!
me: arre wah! ek rupiya kam?
they pack it, i leave. 

and i heave a sigh of relief! i finally found 1 bottle of pepper spray. and considering i was looking in gulmohar park, hauz khas and kailash colony and people there are supposed to be informed. talk of women's emancipation!


4 comments:

Chronicler said...

hehe... mast yaar... koi naa take me shopping for pepper spray as well... :) atleast you finally found it... I thought pepper spray was just fancy talk...

ABHi said...

shivani! you dont need pepper spray!
i would rather hit my head on the wall than taking panga's with you. :P

Unknown said...

u see that was the reason why partly the store attendants were gaping at me! but then again, i wasn't shopping for me!

Unknown said...

@swayam
oh i always wanted it for myself...never thought to go splurge on it. though i found a site now.
www.chilliguard.com
apparently they'll home deliver it for u at 150 bucks! cheap i'd say considering my experience